Forget all this bikini nonsense to the right - Melanie Slade is an intelligent young woman with an excellent CV, bright future and likeable beau. What's more, she looks fabulous in a bikini and... ah, we've just reverted to type, haven't we? Shame on us

Now listen closely. Melanie Slade wants us to know that she's not your stereotypical WAG. You might find that very hard to believe, given that she's peeled down to a bikini here, and showing the bronzed and highly toned form that would make her a welcome incumbent of Paper or Chinawhite any night of the week. But the future Mrs Theo Walcott lauding such hackneyed London establishments? Don't even go there.

Much more than a pretty face

Given that Slade is the offspring of the former mayor of Southampton (a lofty position indeed), you'd be forgiven for thinking her just another princess hanging off the arm of a high-earner. Dig deeper, though, and you'll find more than a hint of brains behind this particular beauty.

The CV reads thus: A levels in biology, maths, psychology and critical thinking, which have led to her current status as a physiotherapy student. Okay, these might have been preceded by a spell working in the Southampton chain of Claire's Accessories (where, coincidentally, she first met Theo - what he was doing there in the first place, the good lord only knows), but the achievement of having scaled Mt Kilimanjaro since properly makes up for such a blemish.

All of which is why the WAG label does not sit comfortably - and understandably so. "I just smiled, ran into the house and hid!" she recalls of the moment when photographers from the red-tops camped outside her house following her lad's shock call-up to England's 2006 World Cup squad.

Far from being a regular in gossip columns and lads' mags, though, Slade has remained a reluctant ‘celebrity' - which, for us, is a truly terrible thing. But, after Walcott's stunning hat-trick against Croatia recently, she's been thrust back into the tabloids - which is clearly a much less terrible thing.

The new Posh and Becks, they'd have us believe - a complement, we guess, for young Theo, if not quite so for Mel. For starters, she doesn't do pouts and, we can only assume, has a much better voice. Okay, that one might be a stab in the dark - but, given the multitude of strings to her bow, you wouldn't bet against it.

Here is her photoshoot in a bikini:

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